Folks, last night something magical happened. The Trump campaign decided to engage potential voters by reaching across party lines. And by reaching across party lines, I mean they decided to plagiarise a speech given by Michelle Obama in 2008. The Trump campaign gets it. They understand that, at the end of the day, their entire platform consists of the Donald trumping his own horn. So, what better way to show America that they have an original plan for the future of this great nation than by using the ideas of its current sitting President.
They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and who better to flatter than the man whose job you wish to take? After all, the Trump campaign recognizes that Obama is a strong, competent leader – even if Trump’s entire base refuses to acknowledge this! That’s what makes this so genius! They know that none of their base has ever actually listened to anything that our current President (or his wife) has ever said. This means that they can claim credit for every plan Obama has had since taking office! Just think, next year we can replace Obamacare with Trumpcare – it’s the same damn program, but the new, whiter name makes it more attractive!
And speaking of white standards of beauty, Trump’s wife, Melania, took full credit for writing this speech – until the backlash happened. Now suddenly, a whole team of writers are responsible for stealing Michelle Obama’s words. Donald, I thought you would learn by now that if you want to avoid embarrassment, you cannot invite the “liberal” media to any event you are taking part in. I mean they will only distort everything you say with facts, and who needs that! If your supporters wanted facts, they would be educated.
But I think the Donald will come out of this in an even better position than he went in. I mean think about it. Most people don’t actually have a problem with Obama’s views – as long as they are spoken by a white man. The Donald just needs to follow the President around, record everything he says, and then speak it himself and he will be hailed a messiah by people who aren’t openly registered neo-nazis. That’s right, he is encouraging people to come out of the closet…as racists.
Folks, the proof is right there! Look at the applause that Melania received for this speech. His supporters basically gushed over every word. I think instead of criticizing his campaign for plagiarism, we should be thanking him for uniting two warring factions in DC. By using the words of Democrats, he can bring Democrats and Republicans together in a blissful utopia of ignorance and hopeful naivety – ignorance because his supporters won’t know the difference and hopefulness because his detractors will think he actually believes the things he says.
This is the kind of double-speak that Trump is known for. That’s why I am in full support of this tactic. Donald, I am speaking directly to you now, hire me as a staff writer for a ridiculous amount of money and I will scour the Internet, the archives, and popular culture to find every liberal message out there. Then I will write up the perfectly stolen speeches that will ensure everyone loves you. It’s a win-win. You can even keep talking about your wall, while simultaneously talking about tearing it down with kindness.
Face it, America – Trump is going to make plagiarism great again. In fact, why stop there? Trump could make only kinds of appropriations great again! After all, he is known for re-appropriating jobs from active duty veterans and housing from the elderly! What’s next? Hardcore gangster rap? The possibilities are truly endless…just like this mockery of an election cycle…