Tithing is as Charitable as I Get – Alois Bell’s Story

Folks, everyone knows that Jesus said to be charitable…to yourself and f*** everyone else. That’s the way I heard it – it was proclaimed in a sermon by Pastor Alois Bell from Truth in the World Deliverance Ministries (TWDM) located in St. Louis, Missouri. Pastor Bell reinforced this lesson recently after taking a large party to eat at a local Applebee’s restaurant.

After the group had finished their meal and the check had been delivered, Alois showed how grateful she was for the great service she received – by refusing to tip her waitress AND then writing on the receipt that she only offered charity to God who was already taking 10% so she wasn’t giving the waitress anything else!

Bell is right, charity should begin at home, and this girl was obviously slaving away at work, so she obviously was in the wrong place at the wrong time and Bell doesn’t have time for beggars. The waitress, Chelsea Welch, then did the unthinkable – she posted a picture of the receipt with supposedly rude message written on it in order to show how much of an absolute ass clown Alois was!

At this point Alois could have listened to Jesus and turned the other cheek, she could have humbly asked for forgiveness from the poor girl that she slighted, but no, Alois knows the golden rule – “do unto others before they have the chance to do it to you, and if they do it to you first, smite the ever loving shit out of them!”

Alois claiming “to be extremely embarrassed’ called Applebee’s and “demanded [they] fire everyone involved.” I agree Alois, I would be embarrassed to be associated with you too! Getting a girl fired, a girl who is only paid $2.85 an hour, is the morally correct thing to do! Alois Bell is just a humble servant of the Lord who can’t be expected to be charitable to the poor!

The TWDM claims that they want to “make the world a better place,” and what better way to do that than by stealing jobs from people so that they can become homeless and starve! This IS how they offer “deliverance to those need,” they deliver people from their livelihoods!

Bell blames the incident as a “lapse in judgement on [her] part.” Yeah, Alois, next time you have to remember not to sign your name to stuff like that!

Alois is just practicing what she preaches, she routinely tells her parishioners to pay their tithes instead of their rent because God will provide. Alois knows that saying stuff like that calms people down and makes them feel better about how shitty their lives are. She understands that the real message of the bible to make money, not give it away.

That’s why all the capitalists I know claim to be Christian. Jesus actually gave away all that salted fish to those hungry beggars because he knew he could make a mint selling them something to wash it down with!

In this situation, one must ask “what WOULD Jesus do?” I’m pretty sure that he would send Alois straight to hell, directly to hell, without passing go, and without tipping $200…

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