Folks, we are facing a looming threat. A threat that is so apocalyptic that it will destroy all of America. A threat known as women…or to be specific: independent women. That’s right everyone, watch out for free thinking women because they may express something that many men rightly fear: an opinion.
This is one of the many claims that pastor Kevin Swanson is making on his podcasts: Generations with Visions. Swanson said that women are “leading the charge to socialism” because they “no longer seek security in their fathers or husbands.”
And don’t even get him started on women in politics…no, really don’t get him started because you might punch him in the face. Swanson claims that it is “unnatural to allow women to rule.” That’s because he believes that the only place women belong is in bed or in the kitchen doing the only things he claims they are good for: “cooking or breeding.”
Folks, while this may seem completely sexist, perhaps Swanson has a point. If women start thinking for themselves instead of blindly following a misogynist who is probably secretly homosexual (more on that in a moment), they may make decisions that are in their personal best interests. This method of thought would inevitably put people like Swanson out of work. Then Swanson would be forced to stand in a welfare line with other socialists to beg the government for handouts.
Swanson also warns us that Democrats want us all to become homosexuals and become drug addicts by pushing for the legalization of same-sex marriage and marijuana. That’s right Obama, we know your master plan! You want us all to get high and have a “gay old time” – just like those swingers on the Flintstones! But you can’t fool us Mr. President…thanks to informed pastor’s like Swanson, who teach us hate, intolerance, and the importance of a male dominated society – mainly because those pastors want to be dominated by males. I can only assume that if your master plan succeeds Mr. President that Swanson will then release his new autobiography “Fifty Shades of Gay.”
But, there is a biblical precedence for the Democrats push to legalize both of these agendas at the same time. After all, Leviticus 20:13 says that if a man should have sexual relations with another man as he would with a woman, that they should both be stoned. So, see legalizing weed only makes sense!
This isn’t the first time that Swanson has attacked the LGBT community as he once called same-sex parents “the most devastating thing to happen to America.” I think he is absolutely right. After all, most Americans would rather deal with Hurricane’s like Sandy and Katrina on a daily basis than watch a child grow up in a loving home.
Swanson also abhors abortion and claims that “any one who doesn’t vote for a pro-life candidate is pro-abortion and enjoys killing kids.” He then goes on to talk passionately about the good ‘ole days when Christians could kill sinners to reduce the spread of temptation. After all, it’s okay to murder people who have already been born, it’s just a sin to kill them before that!
This is the fundamental right of being a Christian – you can legally call for the death of anyone who verbally disagrees with your message and remain righteous! Christians know that only people who will be going to hell would dare seek to “murder their unborn kids” to prevent adding additional drains on society and welfare.
Kevin Swanson is the epitome of Christianity. He only wants what is best for us by seeking the death penalty for those who practice homosexuality, abortion, non-Christian religions, the uplifting of women, and walking while chewing gum.
So, America, let’s fight these growing menaces while we still can. If you see a woman thinking for herself, remind her immediately that the bible says she is wrong. And if she argues, call her a sinner and demand the death penalty…after all, that is what Kevin Swanson’s sermons urge you to do.