Weighing The Odds Of Getting Out Alive

Folks, there are many reasons for offering a stay of execution to death row inmates: lack of evidence, finding new evidence, or having an attorney that can adequately present the evidence. Basically, all the reasons revolve around the evidence. However, the Ohio attorneys who are representing Ronald Post have come up with another reason for overturning a death sentence. They claim their client is “too fat to be executed.”

It turns out that Post weighs in at 480 lbs.

Apparently being morbidly obese can cause several problems for prison executioners. Problems like “not having a gurney sturdy enough to hold him” or “being able to find a vein among all the blubber.”

Ronald was convicted in 1984 of the brutal murder of Helen Vantz.

Which brings me to an interesting question – how is a man serving in a prison morbidly obese? Aren’t they only fed bread and water? Don’t they have a gym?

It turns out that they have a gym and Ronald actually attended it once until “the exercise bike he was using broke under his immense weight.”

Prison officials did not disclose what Post eats on a daily basis, I can only assume that he ate planets. This may very well be true because according to statistics from National Health Institute 29.6% of Ohio’s population is listed as overweight. Ohio is currently tied with Kansas for 13th place out of 50 for Most Overweight State in the Union. I say Ohio, don’t give up – just eat a few more combo meals at lunch and you can go all the way to the top!

The attorneys filings go on to say:

“Indeed, given his unique physical and medical condition there is a substantial risk that any attempt to execute him will result in serious physical and psychological pain to him, as well as an execution involving a torturous and lingering death.”

Yes, executing someone can bring serious physical harm! After all, how much more serious can you get than dead? It can also bring psychological consequences – at least for a few minutes until the poison kicks in. These psychological pains are usually a direct result of knowing you are about to die because you killed someone.

Post maintains that he didn’t kill her. This is after he confessed to killing her in 1984 and after he discovered they would seek the death penalty for it. But I think he could be innocent! Or at least, he should be given a chance to speak to the American people about his case and plead his life. He could go onto a widely respected news program and explain how he was framed – a program like The Jerry Springer Show! If they filmed this moments before his execution then this would solve at least one problem, Jerry would be responsible for getting him out of his cell! I know they have plenty of experience fork-lifting people out of their homes!

Folks, I don’t know what more there is to say, but the fact is if Debra Lafave can stay out of prison because she is too pretty, then can’t Post avoid the death penalty for being too fat?


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