Devoted readers. I must apologize as this morning I got nothing. Nothing except a whiskey fueled headache. I feel like I was run over a few times and then was backed over for fun.
Which has now led to an interesting segue…Drunken revelry…
We all know when we have reached that point of no return. Why is that sometimes we allow ourselves to go past it?
The consequences are never good either. Sure you may think that hottie you hooked up with was awesome the night before, but then you wake up next to Jabba the Hutts sister. Top it off with having misplaced your car and not being able to find all your clothing…to this day I still don’t know what happened to my belt or my left shoe.
But waking up with scary women that took you home like a stray puppy isn’t the only thing that can happen to me…I mean us.
Sometimes when your drunk, it seems fun to make your pets drunk. I used to have a beagle that after some Jagermeister, would run around in circles until he just fell over. And while I still find that hilarious, never, ever give alcohol to parakeets. The results are more explosive than using Alka-Seltzer.
Really the only time its fun to be drunk, is when your sober. By this I mean, everyone around you is drunk and you are not. This makes it a fun time to find cameras and cell phones. I like to take random pictures and call people I don’t know. I’m sorry Barry for telling your Grandma that you were abducted by terrorists. Who would have thought she would have a heart attack?
I also enjoy playing with other people’s cameras. I like making random videos and uploading them on YouTube or text messaging pics to random people in that persons contacts list. Allison, I didn’t realize the guy you were with that night wasn’t your husband, but he should be proud as you appeared very flexible.
Drunk people are also very honest. Forget Sodium Penathol, giving someone enough Captain Morgan will get you all the answers you need. And it’s alot cheaper too. If you need proof that your Ex stole your Whitesnake album, give her a few pina coladas and she will admit it for you.
Parties that are full of drunk people are more fun than a night at the strip club, because someone is guaranteed to take their clothes off at some point. And unlike the strip clubs, you can take pictures to remind them of it the next day.
So people of the blog a sphere, go out there and have a few Margarita’s or Cosmopolitan’s. Because the pain you feel the next day, will bring a smile to someone else’s face later.
Originally published Mar 2, 2011 at http://shiningthruitall.blogspot.com/2011/03/bourbon-kool-aid-never-mix-well.html