Republicans LOVE babies (they just legitimately hate women and children)

Folks, I am disturbed. Disturbed that people like Paul Abrams and The Huffington Post seem to be suggesting that there is an unified government movement to deny women control of their own bodies. To think that a well-respected news organization would promote such obvious conspiracy theories hurts my soul. I have to ask, “Where is the proof?”

Oh sure, you can point out Republican Senate hopeful Todd Aiken and use him as a scapegoat. Just because he said that “legitimate rape doesn’t occur in pregnancy” and that because of that he wants to ban abortions even in the case of rape or incest. This is because, despite the fact that statistics show that at least 32,000 pregnancies occur from rapes annually, Aiken knows his facts because he got them from a source more trusted than mere science – Jesus. After all Jesus said that the world was made in a mere 7 days, not the billions of years that scientists claim, and if they are wrong about that little tidbit then what else are they wrong about?

Todd later admitted that he misspoke when he made that comment – that’s because he didn’t mean to say the thoughts that are in his head out loud! Besides, it’s not like the rest of the Republican Party is backing this guys draconian doctrine – only the Vice Presidential hopeful Paul Ryan. And it’s not like they have an agenda against women – they only voted to block the Violence Against Women Act because they have a penis. If women want to end violence against them, maybe they should all get penises too!

Also, it must be noted that if the potential Vice President supports this guy, doesn’t that mean that the potential President does as well? After all, Mitt hand-picked Ryan to be his wing-man. So I guess I should say that no one is supporting this guy except the two top dogs of the Republican Party, but they aren’t that important.

But other than these two instances, I doubt anyone could name even one case of the government moving to make women equal to cattle – meaning they are only useful for breeding purposes! It’s not like any state is going to penalize a woman for not living up to her potential as breeding stock. Sure, groups are going to point out House Bill 2625 from Arizona – a bill that prevents employers from having to pay for contraceptives for female employees. But, I bet that they didn’t even consider women as baby dispensers when they wrote in the bill that “a woman can be fired if she knowingly used contraceptive to prevent a pregnancy”. It also demands “that a woman must show evidence of a medical need” for any contraceptive she uses. Critics will claim that is demeaning and dehumanizing, but Arizona knows what is at stake – welfare! If more women protect themselves against unwanted pregnancies, the number of people on welfare might go down and Republicans can’t have that! They have to keep women pregnant so that poor people can blame welfare recipients for all of the financial problems our country has! If more states don’t take the same stance, Americans may start blaming corporations and the wealthy for having to pay higher taxes.

Republicans just love babies – and they know that if women have them, they will too!

Which is the only reason Kansas revoked the medical license of Dr. Ann Neuhaus. Dr Neuhaus stole the joy from a 10-year-old girl who became pregnant through incest and rape by giving her an abortion. Sure, a 10-year-old child is a child and shouldn’t have a baby, but Republicans actually hate children. They just like babies. And only American babies – f*** everyone elses babies! Don’t believe me, just watch how Republicans will wage war on terrorists in foreign countries by bombing civilian residences where babies (and possibly terrorists) may live!

So, Huffington…I think you should be ashamed for misconstruing the Republican Party’s agenda. They only have our best interests at heart. Women should be grateful that a political party cares so much about their bodies that they will legislate how they can use them. It’s not like us men will ever know such love from our government – mainly because we would never allow it.


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