Folks, Vagina’s are illegal in Michigan. At least that is the message that the Michigan Legislature sent to two of its state representatives, Lisa Brown and Barb Byrum, after they said the word in a discussion on abortion. The two women representatives were barred from speaking on the House floor for an undisclosed time period for breaking “House decorum.”
The Legislature felt that, even though the word Vagina is used in several state statutes, it should never be uttered aloud. Kind of like the name of God. Because we all know that saying Vagina will cause kittens to die and earthquakes to crumble the pyramids, and rainbows to change their stripes.
But the She-Part’s-That-Must-Not-Be-Named, whom we will call Vagimort (damn I said it, now the hooded Fetus Eater’s will ride their phallic shaped broomsticks among us raining abortions from the sky!) are riled up and angry across this great nation. They are proposing legislation to restrict the mighty Dickadore in the same way that Vagimort is being regulated.
This regulation is insidious. It’s horrible. It’s unconscionable. These Vagimort’s want the government to restrict vasectomies to only cases that are proven medically necessary due to the man’s life being at risk. Don’t they realize that men get vasectomies to prevent a life threatening condition called fatherhood? The state of Georgia is one such state that will have representatives proposing a similar bill.
Yasmin Neal, author of the bill, said, “Thousands of children are deprived of birth in this state every year because of the lack of state regulation over vasectomies.”
It’s not like it’s the same thing! These bills regulating abortion are just there because women may not know that they would be halting the procreative process – men already know that they are halting the procreative process, which is the whole point of getting their balls snipped! After all, we have been taking the family pet to the vet for years and seen how miserable he looks after that procedure. It’s a sacrifice we are making to help control the pet population by being neutered.
Perhaps these Vagimort’s fail to see that men have only their best interests in mind. Men, by right of having a penis, understand a woman’s reproductive system much better than someone who has a woman’s reproductive system. It’s simple science! The penis is the man’s other “thinking head”, after all!
Besides, unless women are stripped of choice, they may never realize how perfectly suited to motherhood that they actually are. And the best way to let women know that their true potential is making babies is to take away their contraception and abortion rights.
Then she can struggle with a child she didn’t necessarily want, while the (most likely) absentee father parties it up (or perhaps gets a vasectomy to prevent having interruptions to his party). After all, the government believes that education isn’t necessary for women – because you don’t need a PhD to clean, cook, and raise babies! Oh, and let’s not even go into the government’s attitudes about pre-marital sex…they, rightfully, know that virgins are the only people with any real worth.
Which brings me to my solution. I know how to end the fighting between the evil Vagimort and Dickadore’s Army…we need to ban sex. All sex – even for the purpose of procreation.
This is the only way to ensure that no one ever seeks an abortion or other forms of birth control. And the only way to ensure that sex is never had again is to castrate every man on earth. After all, in most cases, sex is initiated by a guy! So if we remove his ability to have sex, then we solve all the problems related to sex. No abortions, no morning after pills, no condoms, no pre-marital sex.
And if you want more than just my opinion on this, make sure you read Hairy P**** and the United State’s War On Women.