Folks, it seems that this is the year that will be known for the dead rising up from the earth.
But before we get too far into the story – no, this isn’t another zombie tale!
This story asks the question: how do you honor a dear friends passing? Do you hold a memorable service? Do build an intricate tomb? Do you transform them into a flying machine of death (literally)?
This story…is the bizarre tale of how one man, Bart Jansen, memorialized his dearest friend, a cat named Orville.
Bart loved Orville. And like the man he was named for, Orville loved to fly. Or at least, Bart loved the idea that Orville would enjoy flying. So when Orville was killed in a tragic car accident, Bart did the only thing he could do…he turned Orville into a helicopter…
I can only imagine that trip to the taxidermist…
Bart: “I want you to keep the shape he has now.”
Taxidermist: “You mean the just run over by a car look? But why?”
Bart: “Because I plan to shoe electronics up his ass and nail propellers through his paws.”
Taxidermist: “Get the #$^& out of my shop.”
But Bart would not be dissuaded. He, with the help of a friend, stuffed his dead cat and mounted landing gear to the animals stomach. Then he proceeded to shove engine parts into the cats rectum. After that was done, the rest was easy…and involved mounting a propeller through each of the cat’s outstretched paws.
I think this was from an episode of Tom & Jerry in which the dog beat Tom to death and then made him into a toy for his son to play with! Only Bart wasn’t making Orville a toy for his son, he was creating a work of art to put into a gallery!
That’s because the best way to remember a favorite pet is to stuff it and sell it shamelessly in order to pay the rent!
Bart introduced the Kitty Kopter (actually, he called it the Orvillecopter, but I thought that sounded stupid) to a group of onlookers who applauded as Orville rose into the air. I think these people were high. Or maybe they didn’t realize that Orville was once an actual cat. That second part may be true since one woman was found to be hugging and kissing Orville while exclaiming how real it looked.
Which means that maybe Bart isn’t crazy…this could be the next big thing! Imagine all the people that would want their animals turned into remote controlled toys? Imagine a remote controlled Greyhound tractor? Or a Labrador-boat?
This doesn’t even have to be limited to battery operated toys either! Imagine Boa Constrictor Pogo sticks and Iguana skateboards! Shetland Pony Hot-Glue Guns!
I think this idea is just dying to get made!
So Bart, I applaud your making the best out of a sad situation. I know that somewhere…in the great beyond…Orville is watching…and probably secretly hoping that your girlfriend treats you the same way…After all, what goes up…inevitably should bite you in the ass…