She’s A Man, Baby!

I hate going to the Doctor. She always gives you news that you don’t want to hear, like: It’s cancer. You need a liver transplant. It’s syphilis. You’re actually a woman.

Three of those aren’t that bad to deal with…

Steve Crecelius, however, got the other one. Steve went to the hospital to have a kidney stone removed. He entered the hospital the father of six and husband of 25 years…he left the hospital the mother of six and wife of a wife he was the husband of for 25 years…

That’s because all these years…Steve was not a man…he was in fact…a woman.

If this had happened to me…my 1st question would be to the woman who claimed I had fathered six children…and I think we all know what I would ask…”Do I look fat in this dress?”

See, Steve is actually both a man…and a woman. He is sort of like a hermaphrodite, only instead of having both sex organs – he has a random mix of them! It’s as if his DNA was stoned as it formed him and kept forgetting what it was doing. Do you think this what happened to the Ken doll?

So after living for 40 something years as a man and then being told he may actually be a woman, Steve does the only thing that makes sense to him. He starts wearing wigs, lipstick, dresses, and thongs, and changes his name to Stevie.

Stevie currently lives as a woman with her wife Debbie… His wife Debbie is okay with the changes…mainly because it saves money on hygiene products now that they use the same things. Debbie says that she “didn’t sign on for this…but she’s still the same person she was” before she found out she wasn’t a he.

She has been very supportive, but I must admit in her place this would have made me have many questions.

The couple now live in Colorado, which makes me wonder if the state recognizes same marriage…Since Stevie is a man who was born a woman…does that make him (Steve) straight or her (Stevie) a lesbian? Or is Stevie bi? Actually…I think I am a lesbian, so maybe I wouldn’t have as many questions as I originally thought I might.

 

Frankly, I think Steve just wanted an excuse to buy shoes and a new wardrobe every six weeks. It’s okay brother! You don’t have to have some elaborate excuse for why you want to wear a sundress! I wear a kilt…it’s basically the same thing!

Just man up and admit you like panty hose and thigh high boots! You don’t need a crazy story about having ovaries to explain these fetishes. Hell, I like to dress up like Annie and sing show tunes from time to time…it’s just called being a normal heterosexual male! Put a little Cher on…turn on the camcorder…put some stage make-up on so that the camera catches you at your best…sing and dance the night away – or at least til the battery dies on the recorder!

I think telling the neighbors that the doctor cut your penis off would have been an easier sell than telling them that you will be doing the breast-feeding from then on! How come it took so long for you to find out that you’re a woman anyway? Was there no such things as ultrasounds before 5 years ago (the time of the kidney stones)? Did your parents treat you like Norman Bates mom did? Did they dress you up in the shower and make you keep corpses in the attic? Okay maybe Bates didn’t quite do that, but still…

I think Stevie is a quitter because he/she/it still has a penis…Stevie if you really want the world to know your devotion to being a woman, see a doctor and cut off your &*^%.

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