Integration of Church and State

Folks, it’s time to get back to what’s important: namely the reintegration of church and state! I can’t tell you how great this idea actually is, but I know it must be because so many people seem to advocate this concept!

That’s why I applaud Southwest DeKalb High School for holding their graduation at the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church. And I am appalled that one student is refusing to attend because she feels it violates this imaginary idea of separation of church and state. Sure the Constitution says that church and state should be separate but that was just a suggestion! Besides, the Constitution is a dead letter anyway, right? It’s not like anyone follows that thing anymore! And even if people did still respect the Constitution, we all know that they didn’t mean that part about religion anymore than your parents meant to lie to you about Santa Claus or about Jesus even being born in December.

We all know that the only reason they even hinted at that was make sure people didn’t accuse of copying Rome by naming our countries leader Pope. The signs are all there that church and state are meant to be united! That’s why in the 50’s we added a line to the Pledge of Allegiance stating we lived in “One Nation, under God.” Our leaders knew that the best way to fight ‘godless commies’ was to make them say oaths to a deity they didn’t share.

The school is merely trying to teach kids what’s important: Jesus.They don’t care if the student body is comprised of Muslim, Jew, or any other non-Christian group, they insist on teaching kids a concept you can also learn from playing football – if you are gonna make it in this world, it will require a few ‘Hail Marys’. They also know that any students that enter the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church will be permanently converted to Christianity with no take backs. Why do you think it’s called ‘New Birth’, duh!

But apparently, Nahkoura Mahnassi, a 16-year-old student, feels that she shouldn’t be forced to attend because she isn’t a Christian…

My question is, why should she be special? Everyone else in America is forced to do lots of things by Christians! Want birth control? Well, your Christian boss may not approve it for your insurance plan. Want an abortion? Well, your Christian neighbor’s may burn your house down. Want to have an occasional drink or sex-fueled orgy? Your Christian colleagues will gossip about that for months and tell people that you are the devil.

Because that’s the best part of being a Christian! You get to forget everything that the bible says about not judging and loving everyone as you love yourself, and instead criticize anything that you want! And if you happen to ‘sin’ in a way that you previously criticized, well that just means you fell along the path and will soon be back on the straight and narrow – unlike that one guy who did the same thing, he’s a monster!

Take the pastor of the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, Eddie Long, for instance. Eddie was accused of sexual misconduct with underage boys back in 2010. But Eddie settled out of court and then he repented of his sins! I know I love the idea that my son can get life advice from a guy who may or may not have molested other boys! Imagine the pearls of wisdom he could give on making the situation less awkward!

I think Nakhoura is being uppity – where else does she expect the school to hold a ceremony for one of the largest graduating classes from SDHS? You can’t expect kids to graduate on a football field like my class did!

So Nakhoura, I say deal with it. The law is on their side…mainly because they wrote, interpret, and enforce it.


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