Airway To Heaven

One pilot took the idea of “God as his co-pilot” a bit too literally which resulted in mutiny aboard a Jet Blue aircraft. Clayton Osbon, 49, apparently lost his mind and the crew and passengers had to take him down.

It’s not like flying is stressful these days – long lines, baggage fees, potential terrorist sitting across from you, and the crew reassuring you that every bump is in fact not the plane coming down. So, I can’t understand why the passengers abroad Flight 191 were so upset that their Captain was running up and down the aisles screaming about going to meet Jesus. They were in Texas after all, and doesn’t everyone in Texas want to go be with God?

Things for the Captain started off pretty crappy…he was late for work and missed the pre-flight meetings. Then once they got in the air, he tried to talk to his co-pilot about their flight to Las Vegas. He was telling his co-pilot “Vegas is full of sinners” and “we aren’t going there.” He was just trying to look out for the spiritual welfare of his passengers! He told his co-pilot that his church had given him “focus.” When Osbon told the co-pilot that terrorists were everywhere and that they “should take a leap of faith” because “things just don’t matter”, his co-pilot decided to take the Captain down.

Now I ask you, why would you mutiny against such a sensible man? The co-pilot told the Osbon to get up and walk around to clear his head. Once out of the cockpit, the Captain began running up and down the aisles screaming about “the new flight plan to visit Jesus.” This naturally freaked everyone out, because no one really wants to hurry and meet Jesus… So the now freaked out passengers were happy to aide the co-pilot in his revolution. The Captain, knowing that if he wanted to take everyone to see Jesus he would need to be flying the plane, tried to return to the cockpit but found the door locked – because another pilot on board had rushed into the cockpit and locked him out. The Captain became enraged and began beating on the door screaming about marshmallows and kamikaze bears. He was overheard also screaming at his mutinous crew “You better pray now for Jesus f***ing Christ!”

When the co-pilot spoke into the intercom asking the passengers to restrain the pilot, the passengers punched Osbon in the face and left him zip-tied in coach. During the mêlée a flight attendant was hurt and the whole time Osbon accused the passengers of being part of the 9/11 conspiracy and how “Iran to Jesus” and more nonsense than a Dr Seuss story.

I don’t know what is worse, being relieved from command or being forced to fly coach.

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