Malibu Barbie & Optional Meth Lab Accessories

If you were an alleged drug lord (who also happened to be a swim suit model for Ed Hardy Bikinis) that needed to skip bail, where would you go? If you are accused drug lord, Simone Farrow, you go to the beach – in Australia.

The former bikini model, Penthouse girl, and three time ‘winner’ of FHM magazine’s Sexiest Women In The World was first arrested in Aussie-land in October of 2009. This arrest happened after she fled there when the DEA raided her apartment! The DEA found plenty of drugs and other evidence to link Simone to a major drug cartel that shipped meth to various places around the world. Simone thought she was untraceable, because instead of using drug ‘mules’ who could ‘rat’ you out, she used the US Postal Service and FedEX.

Maybe she got caught because one of her buyers couldn’t afford the C.O.D charge and they just returned her meth back to sender! Regardless, Simone stood accused of using 19 different aliases to ship out crystal meth inside of packages of bath salts. I guess that ordering bath salts is code for “ship me some methamphetamine’s” online!

Farrow maintains that she is innocent of the charges and claims the only reason she skipped out on bail back in February was because she felt her life was in danger. She claims that she has been in “relationships with numerous underworld figures or whatever you want to call them and I feel that maybe they feel threatened by my situation.”

I, personally, love those movies…I wonder if she dated Kate Beckinsale? What am I thinking, it’s not like vampires would ever deal crystal meth! Maybe she dated one of the Lycans – they seem like degenerate crack heads, right?

Farrow was picked up from the cheap beach hotel she was living in. Her website claims she is an aspiring singer/songwriter as well as a potential reality show star! They could name her show “Meth&bikinis” or “Dependable Solutions To Your Meth Shipping Needs.”

Australian police believe that behind her high-society lifestyle was a scared, broke little girl trying to find a way to keep up her former way of life. The 37-year-old, possibly unable to find any work beyond her bikini spreads, may have simply needed the money. And everyone knows that drug dealer is a better alternative than becoming one of “Hugh’s girls.”

Investigators also believe that she was the brains behind a 7 person criminal enterprise. I guess finding 7 people dumb enough to follow a super models advice on dealing meth is as enterprising as it gets. How do you think she convinced them? Was she like “Yeah, like this one time, I did a nude spread in Columbia, and I, like, totally knew I could sell coke. And coke is, you know, like, expensive and junk, so this will be easier!”

Wonder if Mattel is looking at her to use as the inspiration for a new Malibu Barbie? Think about Mattel! You could make a fortune on the accessories alone!

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