Objects On My Car’s Television Are Closer Than They Appear

Folks, federal regulators are getting ready to lay down the law on car makers – by making them look at where they have been!

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration is expected to make an announcement concerning the installation of rear view cameras and monitors in every new car in America. See, the government thinks texting while driving is bad, but watching TV while driving is necessary. I wonder if they can pick up the History Channel?

I think legislation to make backing up more safe is necessary when you see these statistics: 224 people die each year from cars backing up and roughly 17,000 people are injured in this manner. Those are big numbers, especially when you compare them to the number of people that die from Staph infection – a mere meager 19,000 people in 2005 alone! Oh and also in 2005, only 94,000 people contracted the disease…so it’s obvious that we should go after the car makers rather than attack McDonald’s like Erin Jordan has done!

I mean overall, the people that die from walking behind cars as they back up can be attributed to natural selection. It’s like those guys that put their fork in the toaster to retrieve the bread. And we all know, that it is in the government’s  best interest to keep the stupid alive. This way they keep paying taxes.

Proponents for the measure claim it will only cost the automakers roughly $220. This translates to about five grand for cash strapped customers – try stretching your refund check farther now!


Clarence Ditlow, executive director of the Center for Auto Safety in Washington, had this to say “We haven’t done anything else to protect pedestrians. This is one thing we can do and should do.” That’s right! Rather than testing people’s driving skills, enforcing existing legislation, or give pedestrians spike plates to get the last laugh on the asshole that hit them, this is the ONE thing they could do!

The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has been spending months planning out this measure, which makes me wonder “if this is the best you guys can come up with, why do you even exist?”

Don’t cars already have rear view mirrors? If the guy backing up the car can’t use those, what help is a built in TV monitor…I’ll bet those TV’s get jailbroken within twenty-four hours by a fourteen-year-old that wants to watch porn.

Personally I would like cameras on the side of the cars so that those jackasses that merge without looking can see me flipping them off! Or perhaps build in kill switches that use some kind of ON-Star type technology to be carried by cyclists to prevent them from being run over by people who can see them!

On the other hand, having a camera to watch where you have been could be awesome. Especially if the person behind you is hot. Then it doesn’t matter where you are going, because after you rear end the car in front of you, and the hottie rear ends you – you can ask her out!



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