Stripped Of All But Pride…Wait That’s Gone Too

I love going to Wal-Mart only because you never know what you are going to see. But I don’t think anyone at the Exton, Pennsylvania, store expected to see a six foot four 300 lb man naked and stealing socks.

CCTV footage shows Lamont Taylor disrobing completely in the parking lot and then entering the store. I think he did this so he wouldn’t have to wait in lines! And judging by witnesses reactions, people will make way for a huge naked guy!

After stripping, Taylor began shopping. He browsed through all of the departments and checked out merchandise, while onlookers checked out his goods. If I had the balls to walk around a Wal-Mart naked, I would have randomly brushed up against unaware bystanders. But I guess when you are 300 lbs, you already are used to being stared at.

Eventually tiring of window shopping, Taylor makes his way to the sock department where he proceeds to put on a pair. I think Taylor is just a quitter – either go all out or go home young man!

Eventually management stopped laughing long enough to call authorities. Police officers approached the bare-skinned giant and asked him to calmly come with them to which he responded by spitting in their faces.

Now folks…It cannot be stressed enough…pissing off law enforcement is never a good idea. And this 32-year-old learned just how bad an idea this was when the law responded…by tazing him.

Now I must admit, if this hadn’t been funny enough before, now you have a naked man bouncing around on the floor like a fish out of water! The undraped thirty something was arraigned on charges of indecent exposure, aggravated assault, simple assault, retail theft, receiving stolen property and disorderly conduct.

My question is: how indecent was it really? I mean the guy is 300 lbs for Christs sake! I am betting you couldn’t even see anything. At that much weight it would be like he was wearing a skin colored suit.

Maybe he was just trying to get back to a more natural state of living and then decided that his feet needed to work up to complete nude-ness. Maybe if he had worked up to that with his genitals he wouldn’t have had his ass hauled off to jail.

I’ll bet he was very popular there, though. And isn’t that what life is all about? Making new friends? Maybe he was trying to pull off that trick from “How I Met Your Mother.” You know the one…where you get naked and hope that someone feels so bad for you that they sleep with you. But considering the types of people that normally hang out at Wally World, maybe this trick will actually work!

Of course he could have just been making a statement. One other than “Here’s my dong.” And what if he has it right. Clothes are so commercialized. We wear people’s names on our crotches. Maybe we should shed this system of control and be free…and freezing. To watch the video go here.

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