There May Be No Free Lunch, But Christmas Can Be Free

Folks, we all know that as the holidays get closer, money gets tighter! And as time shuffles forward, children get older – which means the things that they want get more expensive! But worry not good readers, because I am here to help ease the pain  by showing you a new way to bite this bullet!

That’s right…I am going to show you how to have a million dollar Christmas for less than 30 bucks!

First things first…Everyone knows that many businesses collect toys in the Toys for Tots program! And since we are all broke, we are all needy! So who better to collect and distribute all those toys to needy kids (like your own) than you?

So here’s what you do…

First, go to your local army surplus store! Then get some military fatigues! Dress up like G I Joe and visit these businesses and collect all the toys! No one is going to question you dressed like that! Also, if you really want to complete the look, browse your local classifieds and see if anyone is selling an old army transport vehicle – I just saw one for sale today! Don’t buy the truck just ask to test drive it and use that to pick up the toys!

Keep all the toys that you think your kids would like and return the rest to places like Wal-Mart for gift cards to give to your kids to buy the stuff they really want! After all, everyone knows Wal-Mart will refund anything with or without a receipt!

If you hit up enough stores you can get enough cash on gift cards to buy your whole Christmas event – dinner and all! But, if your morals only let you take enough to cover the gift side then move to the second step of My “Christmas Coupon Program.”

The second step is a little more involved…it requires you to help out at the local food bank. I would suggest volunteering at least two weeks out from Christmas! This way you get a name tag! Now it is common knowledge that many large grocery store chains collect food for the food banks! Places like Publix Supermarkets actually take frozen turkeys and pans of stuffing as donations!

Drive to these grocery stores and pick up all the food they have collected throughout the day! If you are lucky you can get enough can goods to keep you fat for a year!

Now everyone likes to be photographed for Christmas, so this next step helps you get a family portrait! What you have to do is get caught doing either of the steps above and then you will be taken to your local police station! They will take at least two pictures of everyone involved in the Christmas Coupon Program, so make sure you involve your whole clan! They even put your name on each one of your pictures so that you can have these stamped onto coffee mugs to be given out as presents! They will even make sure you get some family time as you will be locked into a small cell with them!

Well that is my advice! I hope this helps you to get the most for your money this holiday season!

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