I Was Hungry, But I Think I Will Have Some Blow

Some people do some strange things for family. But none of those requests can ever top what Wayne Joshua Mitchell, age 20, did to help keep his brother out of prison – he died! Usually when someone says they will die for you, they are just being poetic or melodramatic but not in the case of Wayne – no, he lived up to his word…just not literally.

Wayne Mitchell

And how, do you ask, did Wayne’s death keep his brother DeAngelo out of prison? Well that is a long and complicated story!

It started out with a routine traffic stop. The car the brothers were in had a broken headlight and so the officers pulled them over. The officer immediately decided that they had probable cause to search the car, and so the officers on the scene placed the brothers in the back seat of a patrol car.

What happened next is like a scene from a horror movie.

DeAngelo: I can’t go back to prison man, if I do I will get life!

Wayne: What can I do bro?

DeAngelo: Okay. You know how you said you would do anything to keep my ass outta jail?

Wayne: Yeah, bro, I got your back!

DeAngelo: Well, I want you to take the ounce of cocaine that I shoved up my ass out of my ass and then…I want you to eat that shit.

Wayne: Wait…what?

DeAngelo: I’m gonna tell Grandma you put it up there if you don’t do this bro!

DeAngelo Mitchell

Wayne: Alright man *retrieves cocaine and eats it* I love you Bro!

That’s right…DeAngelo made his brother eat an ounce of cocaine that he had hidden up his ass! What part of that sounds like a good idea? I wouldn’t eat an ounce of cocaine I had shoved up my own ass, much less an ounce that was shoved up someone else’s ass! I guess if anyone ever wanted to know if he took a lot of shit off his brother, we now know the answer!

This also makes me never want to use cocaine…not because it’s illegal…or addictive…but because it was most likely stored in someone’s ass at some point and since this is a drug that you snort..you are basically putting your nose into a stranger’s ass!

Anyways…back to our hero’s story. Wayne took the cocaine from his brothers ass and then quickly ate it. Then he started convulsing and began having problems breathing and then an hour later – he was dead!

The toxicology report showed the cause of death – massive amounts of anal blow!

I think the best way to keep kids off drugs is to have a drug mule come into the schools and demonstrate how to pack an ounce of cocaine up his ass! I think that would keep most kids from ever wanting to try it! Unless they were born addicted to crack – then there might be a problem!

You would never see a weedman shoving kush up his ass! What is it with the most expensive drugs being “packaged” this way? Is this why they cost more? Because you have to pay to have shit on your “shit?”

Maybe I am “blow”ing this out of proportion, but I will take my powder ass free!

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