I Scream For Ice Cream, You Scream Because I Sprayed Chemicals In Your Face

I love ice cream! And I love the ice cream man! Nothing makes me smile more than hearing “Pop Goes the Weasel” being played over and over by a slow moving van driven by someone I suspect to be a child molester!

But apparently, Andrea Chavez, age 65, disagrees with how soothing that whole situation is, because she is accused of beating the hell out of the woman driving the ice cream truck in her neighborhood. Your grandma may have got run over by a reindeer, but this one tackles large women and wails on them with her cane!

Wait…she didn’t attack the driver because she assumed that she was a pedophile/deaf? So…why did this granny attack some random woman selling overpriced treats in Taylorsville, Utah? Because she felt the woman charged too much??

Apparently, Andrea thought the woman charged too much. And to show her displeasure she sprayed ‘Mean Green’ (a cleaning chemical) into the face of the unnamed driver. Law enforcement was immediately called and when officer Mike Ikemiyashiro tried to arrest her, Andrea threatened to “sock him in the jaw” and to “kick him in the dick” if he didn’t let her go immediately.

I think we should have just let her get her senior citizens discount for her ‘Rocket Pops’ and ‘Fudgsicles.’ How dare that business woman set prices outside of some random crazy old woman’s budget? I think this woman should have to make reparations to Mrs Chavez for the remainder of her life – which really can’t be that long because let’s face it…she’s old!

Imagine if we dealt with every business that we felt overcharged us in the same manner as Andrea handled this lady! $50 for a lap dance – how about I spray you with Clorox Clean-up and you dance on that to the hits of Nickleback! The local Ford dealer wants you to pay $78 for an oil change – show that mechanic you mean business by assaulting him with Febreeze!

And maybe this can work in other ways…waitresses don’t like that tip, then blanket your customers in Comet! Also, using chemicals, rather than mace, is a much more humane way to handle the occupy movement – plus it helps freshen the smell of people that haven’t showered in days.

While Washington looks to help companies raise prices on the hard working folks of our country, people like Andrea are mopping the floor with high prices!


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